They’re also guaranteed to come accompanied by better tracks than 2003’s Bring Me To Life. Remember when Evanescence was a thing and Ben Affleck was Dare Devil? Ah, good times.
Even better times were when 2011 hit and the first Dark Souls came out. 2011 was such a good year for video games that if we had a countdown, it would never end.
Until it did.
Without further ado, here are some wicked Dark Souls shirts to remind you why, confusing lore aside, it’s one of your favorite games ever.
1. Work in Fear and Under Pressure and You’ll Never Get Anything Done – FACT
Source: TeePublicSolaire is one of the most memorable characters in the game. As an NPC, this is quite the feat, but you can't really argue with a guy who has fanfare after he says anything. I worked in fear through the entirety of the first part of BioShock (good thing I got over it, there are some killer BioShock shirts out there) and it took me far too long to complete than it should have done. The ending, as unsatisfactory, storywise, as it was to me, at least came. You wouldn't ever regret working alongside Solaire of Astora, nor will you regret donning this sunny, jolly Dark Souls shirt. (I already know it looks fabulous on you).
Get this Batman Parody Dark Souls shirt on teepublic.com
2. But Hey, if You Ever Need a Lawyer (or Retribution…)
Source: TeepublicWhile I'm not entirely sure how well Ornstein and Smough's own brand of law-enforcement and prevention holds up these days, these two bosses are dudes you'd rather have on your side than not. Being double-teamed in games is always obnoxious. It's unfair but in that way where bosses are supposed to be overpowered and unfair. There's no fun in beating someone easy. Ain't that right, Dr. Robotnik-slash-Eggman? Ornstein and Smough are, arguably, one of the toughest bosses ever but they might go easy on you if you wear this Dark Souls shirt. Only time will tell.
Get the law offices of Ornstein & Smough shirt on teepublic.com
3. All of These Dark Souls Shirts Are Nito
Source: AmazonThe First of the Dead. Gravelord Nito. Whatever you feel like calling him, Nito is a gigantic part of how we, the protagonist, ended up here. Which means he's to fault for being stuck for three days trying to beat the aforementioned Ornstein and Smough as well as being basically Death. I'll let you guys decide which is the biggest deal out of the two. You've got a while. It's a hard one. Meat Bun's Dark Souls shirts are really cool. Their designs are so different that you wouldn't have to be a Dark Souls fan to wear one. (But it's cooler if you are).
Get this exclusive Nito shirt by Meat Bun on amazon.com
4. Your Choices Are: Death, Death, or Death
Source: TeepublicIt's fine, though. You, me, and everybody else including our protagonist went into this knowing that the whole realm of Dark Souls is one for the undead. It's okay if you're a little emo about it and want to sit by a smore-less campfire, waiting for your own demise. Wanting to track down Solaire for some disco dancing is another good way to go out too, but only if you like dancing. Moping sure is easier as a gamer. Less time away from the game. Er, unless the game is DDR. Is that even still a thing?
Get this crossroads Dark Souls tee on teepublic.com
5. Big Brother Wants You to Join Him in Praising the Sun
Source: TeepublicSpeaking of the jolly cooperator, Solaire is back with a demand straight out of an Orwell novel. I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't be swayed by a knight so obsessed with the sun that he's out to find or create it, but I'll say that he should probably bring a little more to the table. As a Warrior of Sunlight, I feel like that's something he'd do. Whether my feelings are Force-driven and right are yet to be known. But still, you know, 'tis always a season to be jolly.
Get the Dark Souls propaganda shirt on teepublic.com
6. Well, This Dark Souls Shirt Shows Us Which Direction He Went…
Source: AmazonWhat's new? This Dark Souls shirt could account for 90% of the video games I play on a regular basis, with that remaining 10% being Life is Strange (because duh, it should be called Death is Common and Hurts). Still, sometimes, the only way to get by when you keep losing at a game is to find the humor in it. Fall down a cliff face as Lara Croft? Laugh at the fact you jumped like it was you. Run into a zombie that kills you on Dead Island? I mean, the game is called Dead Island. This shirt, henceforth, is the ideal gamer gift this Christmas.
Get this Dark Souls baseball tee on amazon.com
7. Once Upon a Bonfire, There Was a Wicker Man
Source: Busted TeesGonna have to ask Nic why he ever thought taking part in a Wicker Man remake was a good idea but, until that never happens, just pick any one of his movies to ask him "Why?" about instead. At least in Dark Souls (and, let's face it, a lot of games) bonfires are good spots where you can hang out, respawn, or pause while you, in your actual life, pace around because of Nic Cage and just not being able to beat the next part.
Get this Once Upon a Bonfire shirt on bustedtees.com
8. Best Friends Forever? They’re Dark Souls Mates!
Source: TeepublicI heard your groaning from here, you can't hide that from me. When you find somebody that you can be yourself around and you share the same interests like hammering people over the head or impaling them with spears, you can't let them go. You should be together. And their connection is literally the only thing that ever stops me from wanting to leap through the screen to strangle the both of them with my bare hands because, if the fabulous documentary Wreck-It Ralph is anything to go by, they're actually tiny compared to us.
Get the Sun Bros BFFL t-shirt (or two) on teepublic.com
9. Knight-time Has Fallen, Let Me Tell You a Story
Source: TeepublicJokes and witty, questionable commentary on Nic Cage's movie choices aside, I really really love this Dark Souls shirt. It's absolutely beautiful to the point where anything I have to say that isn't, "If you don't think so too, you're wrong" genuinely may come out in random letters. (Also known as Elvish. Here are some Lord of the Rings shirts, if that upsets you. I like it too!) Everything about it makes me want to play the game again (but not the second), so I'll see you again as soon as I'm annoyed I keep dying!
Get this gorgeous fallen knight t-shirt on teepublic.com
If you wanna see more choice gaming shirts, give these Undertale shirts, Splatoon shirts, Pac-Man shirts, and Life is Strange shirts a browse!
