Get an Emil keychain on amazon.com
Kinda not sure which Emil this is, but he seems pretty helpful, especially if you take him flowers. He’s not as scary as he looks, not one bit, but the fact he looks terrifying is only a positive so that if anybody picks up your keys, they might pee themselves. And then you can take your keys back and laugh if they’d picked them up on purpose or… console if it was an accident, I guess. Maybe. But also if you ask him nicely, he might sell you something.
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